We all need friendship – not just friendly interactions with the shopkeeper, a kind word from an elderly woman, or a neighbor’s greeting – we need friendships and relationships where we get to share our lives with others. However, cultivating friendship is not a skill or virtue that we promote in our society, and we young people are inexperienced in the art of real friendship. True friendship is rooted in the pursuit of virtue. We thrive when we are mutually willing the good of one another and encourage each other to grow in faith and virtue throughout our lives. As Christians, we are called to life a life of charity and to be kind to everyone, but our friendships take commitment. Friendships demand time, effort, trust, and vulnerability in order to truly allow ourselves to be seen by another, ‘warts and all.’ God gives us the gift of friendship so that we can have companions in this life: to have friends to share the good and hard moments. Young people today have not always been taught or modeled true friendship, and oftentimes struggle to have those authentic and vulnerable conversations, to help one another grow through fraternal correction, and to rely on each other. Pure in Heart Ireland seeks to cultivate community and friendship among its members, as the devil wants nothing more than for young people to feel isolated, alone, and unloveable. We all need to return to the craft of cultivating and working on the relationships within our lives, as this is where we truly encounter one another and are challenged to grow ourselves. Human beings were made from love and for love. It is by growing in love that we become more ourselves and closer to God.
Join us as we add to this series on Friendship over the coming year!
Quotes to ponder:
“Having someone to tell. This is the heart of true friendship . . . one must tell what one sees. Today, this calls for prioritizing friendship and the contexts that conduce to real sharing, and real presence. To see by oneself is scarcely to see. Seeing and sharing, seeing together, is to come alive. One of those oh-so-simple things of immeasurable value, always in our power, if we but choose and cultivate it.” (Source)
“[E]ven one real, deep friendship brings out our true self, and it will be a leaven for all our other relationships. Who we are calls out for this. It is a matter of choosing to receive the gift: of becoming ourselves, and of having real friends.” (Source)
Resources:
- Fr. Mike Schmitz on the Importance of Good Friendships
- Fr. Mike Schmitz on the Difficulty of Making Friends
- Book on Friendship by Dr. John Cuddeback: True Friendship: Where Virtue Becomes Happiness
by Michelle Kelly