It can be difficult to navigate through the confusing dating culture in today’s society. The fear of rejection is real for men and there is a crisis in masculinity when it comes to commitment, there is a tendency to go with the flow and see what happens in most relationships nowadays. This is not what God has planned for you. God wants you to live a thriving life and life to the full. Where there is no ambiguity and where women know if a man is intentionally pursuing them. As a woman writing this blog I encourage my brothers in Christ to pursue a woman you are interested in and intentionally date her with the intention to see whether or not you are suitable to marry each other. There are only two outcomes with a romantic relationship for Catholics, either you end up married or you break up and go your separate ways.
If you are still single, know that a girlfriend is a gift, not something you can force or work for. Live your life focused on putting God first, investing in a deeper relationship with God and with others, but remaining OPEN. Open to whoever God puts in your path, whether it is a woman to pursue, the vocation to the priesthood, or religious life.
In Ephesians, St. Paul describes the dynamics of a married relationship. He says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Eph 5:25). How did Christ love the Church? He died for Her! If the goal of dating is marriage, then our dating relationships need to start with our sacrificing for the women men love. In Genesis 2: 23-25 we learn about how, the man and the woman become a gift, each one for the other, through the whole truth and evidence of their own body in its masculinity and femininity.” (Theology of the Body 17:3).
One of the most attractive characteristics of being a man is the ability to lead and protect. This is innate in your being. Pray to St Joseph, he is the perfect example to every man of what manhood is all about. Fr Donald Calloway has an amazing book called the Consecration to St Joseph, which I’d highly recommend, for everyone reading this to do. Look for other Catholic men around you to help you build up good virtues and good habits. In every season of life, all of us should strive to become more virtuous, more humble, and into the person, God created us to be.
Some helpful tips.
- Ask the woman out on a date in person – do not text. The lamest way to show a woman you are interested in her is to text her and ask her on a date. Honour her dignity and ask her out in person. If you can’t see her face to face then call her, this is the next best thing. Just don’t text.
- Tell her why you are asking her on a date. Be sincere and honest, and give her a few compliments.
- Be intentional – perhaps you would like to take her out for dinner to get her to know her better, or perhaps you would like to enter into courtship to discern marriage. DTR- Define the relationship. Women need to know exactly what your intentions are.
- Plan the date – the worst thing a man can do is meet up with a woman he has just asked out on a date and ask her what do you want to do. Instead, plan the date, for example, you would plan a dinner on a Friday evening at 7 pm at a restaurant.
- Do not fear rejection – this is such an important one if you ask a woman out on a date and she declines, do not let this affect you. She was not the one God has planned for you. Be respectful and honour her dignity and move on. If you are called to marriage, the woman God has for you is out there. Keep praying for her.
- Pray – Pray for your future spouse every day and ask the saints to intercede for you. Ask God to prepare your heart to become a husband.